First published on http://passionforcinema.com/pseudo-critics-trade-analysts-and-the-aam-janata/Whenever we write about someone renowned, we quote something about him. So, here it is.
The genius filmmaker Anurag Kashyap once said, "Taran Adarsh is the son of the person who made the film "Gupt Gyan". It is Taran's favorite movie. Whatever he knows about cinema is from that movie."
After such an introduction, I am sure Taran would be proud of himself if and when he reads this article.
Lets start with what Taran does. He is a trade analyst who also review movies based on the trade indication. He is NOT a film critic. He is supposed to review the movie based on the boxoffice collections and NOT by the merit. So, the best of movies, if it flops, are supposed to be given lower ratings. On a scale of 0-5, the biggest hits are supposed to be rated 5 and the disasters are supposed to be rated 0.
Lets see how honestly he does his work.
[Taran Adarsh's review taken from his own website www.bollywoodhungama.com]
[Boxoffice details of each film is taken from www.boxofficeindia.com]
[Boxoffice details of each film is taken from www.boxofficeindia.com]
Let's start from the year 2001.
The following films are the biggest hits of that year.
1. Gadar - Ek Prem Katha. The film collected 70 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran Adarsh gave 3/5
"...GADAR is worth the watch for its brilliant dramatic and confrontation sequences, splendid performances and touching moments..."
@ni's comment: If it's so brilliant and the biggest hit of the year, why give 3/5?
2. Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. The film collected 49 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran however gave the movie 4/5
"...It has style, substance, it takes challenges and doesn't follow formulas -- and that is its biggest strength..."
@ni's comment: It does not follow formulas - LMFAO...
3. Lagaan - Once upon a time in India. The film collected 27 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran gave the movie 3/5
"... those who expect the film to be a war waged by Indians against the British will be disappointed to see a film that is devoted completely to a cricket match. This 'battle' is fought with a bat in the hand, not swords or guns..."
@ni's comment: Tussi great ho!
4. Dil Chahta Hai. The movie collected 16 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran gave the movie 2/5
"...The biggest flaw of the film is that it has been treated like an English film. To be honest, it is too western for the Indian masses to digest..."
@ni's comment: So you mean masses only understand films like Gupt Gyan that your dad made?
The following film is the disaster of that year.
Yaadein. The movie collected 10 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran gives the movie 2.5/5
"...the fact cannot be denied that the film holds appeal for the youth. It has a modern-day feel and at the end of the show, the feeling is pleasant...Businesswise, the distributors of YAADEIN should recover their investment within the first three/four weeks, which will automatically classify it into the hit category. "
@ni's comment: I wish Subhash Ghai had this much faith in the movie. Did the distributors read the review? I wonder.
2002
The following films are the biggest hits of that year.
1. Devdas. The movie collected 33.25 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran gives the movie 1.5/5
"...it lacks in merits and most importantly, repeat value, which is so very vital to recover the colossal investment that has gone into its making..."
@ni's comment: The biggest hit movie of the year and give 1.5...Good going
2. Raaz. The movie collected 22.50 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran gives the movie 2/5
"...RAAZ is a well-crafted film that has the right combo required for a psycho-thriller - eerie atmosphere and tuneful music. But a theme like this always has its share of non-believers. In that respect, the response to the film will be mixed..."
@ni's comment: This was the biggest hit of that year Taran. What happened? Did you wet your undies while watching or what? Darr ke mare 2/5?
3. Kaante. The movie collected 19.75 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran gives the movie 3.5/5
"...KAANTE takes a step forward in terms of content and technique. An apt example of progressive cinema that breaks the shackles of stereotype..."
@ni's comment: Have you heard a movie named "Reservior Dogs"? I guess not. Anyways, Kaante with its copy-paste Tarantino treatment is progressive for masses and Dil Chahta Hai is too western? Jai Ho!
The following film is the disaster of that year.
Shakti - The Power. The movie collected 6.25 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran gives the movie 2.5/5
"...On the whole, SHAKTI - THE POWER has the power to satiate the appetite of those looking for meaningful entertainment. The hype surrounding the film and the presence of several powerhouse performers should generate a power-packed opening for the film, which in turn should augur well for its investors..."
@ani's comment: Meaningful cinema - OMG!!! LMAFO...
2003
The following films are the biggest hits of that year.
1. Koi Mil Gaya. The movie collected 43.50 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran gives the movie 2.5/5
"... KOI... MIL GAYA tackles a novel concept as far as the Indian screen is concerned. But this genre is bound to meet with mixed reactions, varying from good to just-about-fair to disappointing..."
@ni's comment: The biggest hit of the year gets 2.5/5
2. Kal Ho Na Ho. The movie collected 35.25 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran gives the movie 4/5
"...On the whole, KAL HO NAA HO has all it takes to emerge victorious..."
@ni's comment: Biggest hit gets 2.5/5 and this gets 4/5. Kya ho gaya Taran?
The following film is the disaster of that year.
LOC - Kargil. The movie collected 20 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran gives the movie 4/5
"...On the whole, L.O.C. is a powerful experience. It has power-packed direction and power-packed sequences that remain etched in your memory even after the show has concluded. More than anything else, L.O.C. is a triumph for the master film-maker who has the guts and the vision to make a film of this magnitude!"
@ni's comment: 4/5 to the disaster of the year. Jio!
2004
The following films are the biggest hits of that year.
1. Veer-Zara. The movie collected 41 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran gives the movie 4.5/5
"...On the whole, VEER-ZAARA is a winner all the way - in terms of direction, scripting, music, performances. The film will sweep the box-office like a hurricane and set new records in days to come. A sure-shot blockbuster!"
@ni's comment: This is Taran's highest rating ever! So, according to Taran, Veer-Zara is the greatest film of our times. ***Jai Kaala Bandar***
2. Dhoom. The movie collected 29 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran gives the movie 1.5/5
"...On the whole, DHOOM is a terrible letdown thanks to its insipid script. At the box-office, DHOOM will lose its sparkle after the first day or two of glory!"
@ni's comment: Kya ho gaya? Yash Raj Films se kine interview nahi diya kya?
The following film is the disaster of that year.
Rok Sako To Rok Lo. We couldn't find the collections for the film. Did it release everywhere? I doubt! Taran gives the movie 3/5
"...ROK SAKO TO ROK LO has tremendous youth appeal...it can carve a niche for itself. At the box-office, the film should be patronized by the youth..."
@ni's comment: Oye! You're not reviewing Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar. This movie is the almost scene by scene copy of it. Open your eyes Taran ji...
2005
The following films are the biggest hits of that year.
1. No Entry. The movie collected 44.84 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran gives the movie 3.5/5
"...On the whole, NO ENTRY is a joyride that is bound to click with the masses in a big way..."
@ni's comment: Wow! You got one correct at last!!!
2. Bunty Aur Bubli. The movie collected 35.62 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran gives the movie 1.5/5
"...On the whole, BUNTY AUR BABLI just doesn't have the meat to enthrall the moviegoers...the film doesn't have the power to sustain after the initial curiosity subsides...Disappointing!"
@ni's comment: One more Yash Raj Hit. One more misguided review from you!
3. Mangal Pandey. The movie collected 28.32 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran gives the movie 4/5
"...On the whole, MANGAL PANDEY is a film of epic proportions. A genuine attempt at bringing alive a great hero on celluloid, the film will only bring pride and prestige in the domestic market as well as on the international platform."
@ni's comment: So this gets better rating than the biggest hits of the year even though its turns out to be a disappointment of epic proportions. Great job!
The following film is the disaster of that year.
Paheli. The movie collected 13.09 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran gives the movie 4/5
"...On the whole, PAHELI is one of the finest films produced in the recent times. A film like this proves yet again that we don't need to seek inspiration from outsiders [read Hollywood], when the Indian literature is rich enough to provide us with captivating stories. From the business point of view, PAHELI has already proved to be a profitable venture for its producers even before its release and the non-theatrical revenue [satellite rights, et al] will only add to their profits."
@ni's comment: Already profitable before release and yet it turns out to be the disaster of the year. Are you high??? One of the biggest hit of the year gets 1.5/5 and the disaster of the year gets 4/5...Wah wah!
2006
The following films are the biggest hits of that year.
1. Dhoom 2. The movie collected 80.53 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran gives the movie 4.5/5
"...On the whole, DHOOM 2 is a winner all the way."
@ni's comment: So now Dhoom 2 adds to Veer-Zaara to become the best ever reviewed film by Taran Adarsh. Great for Indian cinema!
2. Krissh. The movie collected 73.47 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran gives the movie 4.5/5
"...On the whole, KRRISH is a winner all the way. "
@ni's comment: Krissh becomes the 3rd movie to get the best ever rating. Nice collection! Also don't you know any other sentence than "winner all the way"?
3. Rang De Basanti. The movie collected 51.15 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran gives the movie 2.5/5
"...On the whole, RANG DE BASANTI will have its share of advocates and adversaries. A well-made film, it caters more to the elite and the thinking viewer than the aam junta or the masses..."
@ni's comment: Again 'aam janta' comes into picture. Just coz' you're too dumb to understand metaphors, does that mean 'aam janta' is like you?
The following film is the disaster of that year.
Baabul. The movie collected 15.97 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran gives the movie 3/5
"...On the whole, BAABUL makes a statement in a convincing manner. The film rests on three aces -- emotions, performances and execution -- which will attract the family audiences in large numbers..."
@ni's comment: It really did make a statement. That no matter how many stars you have, a poorly made film will always flop.
2007
The following films are the biggest hits of that year.
1. Om Shanti Om. The movie collected 79.42 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran gives the movie 4/5
"...On the whole, OM SHANTI OM is Bollywood masala in its truest form and also, at its best..."
@ni's comment: Wow! You got another one correct! How many does that make? 2 correct predictions in 5 years? ;)
2. Chak De India. The movie collected 67.69 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran gives the movie 2/5
"...On the whole, CHAK DE INDIA is a well-made product, but its fate at the ticket window wouldn't be as glorious as its intentions..."
@ni's comment: What about your intentions of sabotaging this movie? And how you failed. Lmao...
The following film is the disaster of that year.
Eklavya - The Royal Guard. The movie collected 18.30 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran gives the movie 4/5
"...EKLAVYA - THE ROYAL GUARD has its heart in the right place. A must for every cinegoer!"
@ni's comment: The film had the heart in the right place. The audience didn't. Which basically means another wrong prediction on your part.
2008
The following films are the biggest hits of that year.
1. Ghajini. The movie collected 117.48 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran gives the movie 4.5/5
"...On the whole, GHAJINI is a winner all the way..."
@ni's comment: Phir se "winner all the way". Don't you know any other sentences or what? Just coz' you're such a loser, you have to use the sentence "winner all the way". LMFAO...
2. Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi. The movie collected 85.56 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran gives the movie 2/5
"...On the whole, RAB NE BANA DI JODI is vey desi at heart with a strong start and an equally strong emotional end. Having said that, you cannot deny the fact that you expect much, much more from Aditya Chopra. RAB NE BANA DI JODI is no DILWALE DULHANIYA LE JAYENGE, it's not MOHABBATEIN either. It's lower than that!..."
@ni's comment: Damn man! Don't you get tired trying (in vain) to sabotage films.
The following films are the disasters of that year.
1. Karzzzz. The movie collected 10.93 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran gives the movie 4/5
"...On the whole, KARZZZZ is rich in entertainment. Himesh's tremendous popularity amongst masses, its chartbusting musical score and the fact that it's a remake of a much-loved film will only lure masses in hordes...Damn the pseudo critics who even rubbished KARZ three decades ago. Go by your instinct and have a blast!"
@ni's comment: OMG! You're damning the "pseudo" critics when you're trying to be one since the last 10 years and failing every single day! What a pathetic loser you are...
2. Yuvvraaj. The movie collected 16.95 crore Net at the domestic boxoffice. Taran gives the movie 3/5
"...On the whole, YUVVRAAJ is interesting in parts, with the penultimate 20/25 minutes taking the film to an all-time high..."
@ni's comment: Yeah, we can understand. How high a person needs to be to feel the climax takes the movie to an all-time high. You having said that take yourself to an all-time low...
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Taran's predictions:
His all time highest rating for Blockbusters are: 4.5/5
- Veer-Zaara
- Dhoom 2
- Krissh
- Ghajini
His all time highest rating for Disasters are: 4/5
- LOC Kargil
- Paheli
- Eklavya
- Karzzzz
So, according to Taran, Blockbuster and Disaster is same.
So, you yourself can judge what type of Trade Analyst he is...
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He doesn't stop there. He tries to sabotage movies due to personal issues.
Proof 1:
Taran Adarsh vs Anurag Kashyap
No Smoking was given 1/5 and the movie was a disaster.
Dev.D was given a 1/5 rating.
"...On the whole, DEV D is NO SMOKING II. Does one elaborate more?"
The movie till now has grossed 12 crore Net for a 6 crore movie. So, its a Hit. Does one need to elaborate more?
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Proof 2:
Taran Adarsh vs Yash Raj Films
This is the list of the following Yash Raj releases over the 2 years. Check Taran's rating and the Boxoffice Net collections.
1. Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi - 2/5 - 85.56 crore
2. Roadside Romeo - 2/5 - Not Available
3. Bachna Ae Haseeno - 2.5/5 - 36.64 crore
4. Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic - 3.5/5 - 21.54 crore
5. Tashan - 1.5/5 - 27.87 crore
6. Aaja Nachle - 1.5/5 - 14.85 crore
7. Laaga Chunri Mein Daag - 1.5/5 - 19.20 crore
8. Chak De India - 2/5 - 67.69 crore
9. Jhoom Barabar Jhoom - 1.5/5 - 25.22 crore
10. Ta Ra Rum Pum - 3.5/5 - 35.02 crore
Just check the ratings and the collections. You will understand what Taran Adarsh is.
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Proof 3:
Taran Adarsh vs Rakesh Omprakash Mehra
1. Aks - 2/5
"...On the whole, AKS scores in terms of technique, not content. It has Amitabh at his best, a strong visual appeal, foot-tapping music that gels well with the goings-on, but a not-so-impressive second half will prove a stumbling block. If you don't believe in supernatural, you'll probably dispel the concept of the film..."
This review is so funny. If you read it you will find he has praised everything and yet given a 2/5 rating. Taran says if you don't believe in supernatural, you'll probably dispel the concept of the film. The same person now praises movies like Raaz 2 lavishly and gives 3/5. Just coz' ROM made the movie ahead of its times and Taran didn't have the brain to understand it, he trashes it.
2. Rang De Basanti - 2.5/5
"...On the whole, RANG DE BASANTI will have its share of advocates and adversaries. A well-made film, it caters more to the elite and the thinking viewer than the aam junta or the masses..."
The less said the better. We all know what happened after that. As they say...the rest is history...
3. Delhi 6 - 1.5/5
"...DELHI 6 has a terribly boring beginning [first hour], an absorbing middle [second half] and a weak end [climax]..."
Only Taran Adarsh can summarize like this.
Now the film has grossed more than 33 Crore in 3 days. So, Taran Adarsh couldn't digest that.
This is what he did:
"After D6, Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra to make D1, D2, D3, D4, D5?"
http://www.bollywoodhungama.com/features/2009/02/24/4887/index.html
Read the article and you'll understand how dirty can a person be. Just because no one from the Delhi 6 team bothered to go to the crapy Taran Adarsh show, he started sabotaging against the movie.
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At the end all I want to say is...
"Get well soon" and "Get a life, dude!"
One more thing...Taran try watching your face once in the mirror. You will understand what Delhi 6 meant to say.
Cheers...
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This is for the cynics. Read the following link which proves that Taran's father BK Adarsh really made "Gupt Gyan".
"...the series of films made in the early 1970s by BK Adarsh, father of film critic Taran Adarsh, such as Gupt Gyan..."
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/24441280.cms
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